Rude Comments

Updated 3 days ago in General Support Thread
5 6 days ago

I had friends who were not as friendly as I thought they were. I only told about my plan to have the gastric sleeve surgery to my family, so it was a surprise to many of friends when they found out about it after the surgery. A few of them were rude enough to tell me that I made a mistake because I could have done a different way. Their comments hurt me so I cut my relationship with them. I don’t mind having a lesser number of friends as long as I know that they have my back.

 
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0 5 days ago

I’m sorry that happened to you.  That had to hurt!  Are you sure you want to cut them out of your life though?  If they’ve been toxic in the past, then yeah dump those negative people.  However, if they’re decent, genuine  friends who have been supportive in the past, then I’d give it some time to see if they react better once they’ve had time to digest things.  Maybe they responded so negatively because they were hurt that you didn’t mention it beforehand.  That doesn’t make their reaction right though.

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0 5 days ago

Jean, could they be a little jealous?  Maybe they wish they could have weight-loss surgery or perhaps they’re unnerved by the fact that you’re taking care of yourself.  I have a friend who has had tons of Botox and she scoffed when I told her I hoped to have weight-loss surgery.  I simply brought up her years of Botox use and asked why it was okay for her to artificially change her appearance but not okay for me to change mine.  Plus, weight-loss surgery will improve my health.  My response seems to have stopped her negativity.  Maybe you could try something like that.  Just mention the artificial changes they’ve made to their bodies and appearances.

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0 4 days ago

Jean, I am sorry to hear that these, “friends,” were so rude and insensitive to you. Those definitely were not true friends. 

I have only told a few friends about my upcoming surgery. Some of them just do not understand why I need to resort to such “drastic measures.” I think it’s hard for people to understand or relate if they have not been there themselves. I just try to focus on relationships with positive and supportive people. 

I hope that your other friends are good, supportive people you can rely on. 

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0 4 days ago

I wouldn’t conclude immediately that those friends are worth dumping. I would rather hear the truth from a friend than flatter me with the words I’d like to hear. I would hear them out and ask them why they say something like that. Then I will explain myself why I did the surgery.

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0 3 days ago

I appreciate your points of views. I guess I could say that we have different levels of tolerance when it comes to being hurt by people. I do understand what you are saying that I may have been too hasty to cut my ties with them. However, if they were actually good friends, then they would have come back and try to win my friendship, which did not happen.

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