Relationship woes after surgery

4 on October 9, 2019

Has anyone else dealt with relationship problems that came about once you were losing weight? I find myself dealing with a jealous husband.   I’ve been married for a long time and we’ve had our ups and downs, but this is just weird.  I love my husband.  He has no reason to be jealous.  He’s been so supportive of me during the process, but at the same time, he’s worried that I’m going to leave him just because I’m thinner now. 

 
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0 on October 11, 2019

I’m sorry to hear this. It sounds like he is feeling insecure about your weight loss. I’m sure he wants you to be healthy and happy, but he’s probably also worried that you think you can “do better” than him now. 

Keep reassuring him that you love him. Marriage counseling might be something to consider. There are probably some underlying reasons he feels insecure that he might not even be aware of. I truly hope it works out for you both. 

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0 on October 12, 2019

Speaking as a man with many of my own insecurities, he may be worried that you think you can do better than him now. I know it seems silly when you love someone, but I know that whenever I get into a relationship, I’m constantly worried that a woman feels she can do better. Unfortunately, this has often become a self-fulfilling prophesy for me. I haven’t dated in a long time due to my anxieties and insecurities. 

He might benefit from some therapy. A therapist could help him get to the root of his issues. Reminding him that you love him and are committed to him may also be somewhat helpful. 

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1 2 days ago

This one worries me too.  Jealousy won’t be the issue for us, but if anything goes wrong during or after my surgery, I know I’ll hear an endless chorus of “I told you so” from my husband.  He still doesn’t want me to have it because he’s afraid of what might go wrong.  

2 days ago

You deserve your husband’s support, whether he agrees with the surgery or not.  It’s your body and your health after all..  Though, I wonder if his attitude is rooted in the underlying fear that he’ll lose you.  

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